
Leaves fall around me in a steady, impossible rain
Spiraling through the slow air
of the last warm day in autumn
I sense around the edges and from below
the bright pressure of future heartache
when all of this is just a memory
My self, years hence, gazing on this moment with such force
I feel the universe looking at me
click to expand author's noteMy driveway is incredible in the autumn. I was walking down it one day as the leaves were falling all around me like a scene out of an arthouse martial arts film, and I had this extremely strong feeling of existing in my own memory. It was as if I was the memory, and the entire world was a construct of my future self’s mind, and everything took on a very dreamlike quality. I think of this poem whenever I experience something that is special. My kid’s mom had a similar concept: she imagined that if there was an afterlife or a heaven, it would be like a long hallway with doors on either side, and through each door was a special moment in your life. Whenever something amazing would happen, she would say “Well, there’s another door in the hallway.”